The Holidays

I think it's time for another update as I have had two pretty comical moments since November. I'm gonna give you some build up on these; the second one is worth the wait. 

BG Update (I guess)

So I think BG and I are making negative progress, if you want to classify what is or isn't going on as any sort of progress.

The last time he was in town he texted me and I somewhat avoided meeting up with him. I was out with friends both weekend nights and could have easily told him to meet us somewhere, but I didn't. I wasn't trying to play games, I simply wanted to spend waking hours with my friends over him.

With that being said, Sunday night I decided to capitalize on him being in town and hang out with him. He told me to come over to his boss's house (which he was house-sitting), and of course I envision this colossal Santa Barbara villa overlooking the mountains. It didn't seem like TOO cray of an assumption as his boss owns a skate shop in town and shit is not cheap here. 

Well, I was wrong. I drag my ass over there in the rain (ugh, hate even thinking about leaving my house), and the house is this tiny one bedroom house with shit everywhere. I'm not that picky about these things or judgmental about the house, but when I leave my house for this kind of thing, it should be worth it.

At first I suggest going back to my house and he asks me if I'll drive him back after (I think - couldn't you just drive yourself?). In typical fashion, I say I guess I could at some point...

He counters with "I think this is fun and different," LOL. I think it's kinda gross and not even his house. We end up staying there and hooking up on this couch - random papers everywhere. 

After we're done, we sit awkwardly in living room and I decide that I was right about being somewhat over this earlier in the weekend. I drive home but wait in my car so that my roommate doesn't comment on me being over there for less than an hour - he has now nicknamed my weekend expeditions "Beegeehbangs".

Bartender Update

This one is a bit more shameful. Since my roommate got mono after me, we always discuss the source, even though I was previously convinced it was that bartender. 

Well, said bartender texted me recently and approached me at his bar (this never happens, we always avoid each other when I'm in there - I also did not respond to any of his texts). This contact, coupled with recent discussions with my roommate about a possible mono transmission through my female coworker (no weird stuff, but we shared drinks and hung out a lot), gave me a recent interest in solving the mono mystery.

While I kind of know I can't solve the mono mystery ever for real, I wanted to know if this bartender at least had it - and since contact was now open, it became a mono mission.

Like most of my solo missions, it ended questionably. I showed up at his bar and didn't really talk to him. He texted me "where you at" a few times after he got off work. Eventually, I was home and pretty drunk when I got another where-you-at-type text. 

Some sort of desperation came over me. I responded that I was home and falling asleep, and that he had 10 minutes to get here. BOLD, right?  OBVIOUSLY he showed up - who wouldn't after getting that text? 

Once he arrived, it took me less than 5 minutes to make fun of CrossFat, the gym cult that he was a member of when we met, and is now a coach at. I'm sad to report that my gym is now a CrossFat gym as well, but we are not bro. 

Post CrossFat convos and a few shots of Fireball, I continue in boldness and tell him I am tired of standing in the living room. Just to note, my living room is fucking freezing at night, and lately, it's been between 32 and 40 at night here. 

We go to my room, and as shit starts going down, I bring up mono. He rather convincingly says that he has never had it, and I (I'd like to think tastefully, but probably not) give him a brief overview of death mono. That convo ends and doesn't seem to put a halt to anything.

Since I can't get enough of being awkward and capitalizing on moments, I also say at a prime moment, "does this mean I finally get free drinks at your bar?" He replies "I think we can work something out". UMM, I think this shit is working it out homeboy. 

All of this Bobby and Whitney chaos ends around 11AM when he gets a call from his landlord about some lease shit and doesn't neglect to mention CrossFat, and how he makes $1500 a month there IN ADDITION to bartending - baller.

Fast-Forward a few weeks: I show up at his bar and NO FREE DRINKS! Game over.