Okay, maybe I’m not AS done with bartenders as I thought

I’ve had a crush on the bartender at my favorite restaurant/bar for a while. He has a big time bromance with my roommate, so we see him often and hang out only when we run into him at the bars.

He’s pretty out of my league (in coolness) and his last girlfriend was basically a model. He’s just kind of the ultimate cool personality, haha.

One day a few months back we were brunching at his restaurant for a friends goodbye party. It was one of those brunches with unlimited minosas so you either get sick full or blackout ruuunnk. I chose the later, since being full didn’t sound as good. I don’t exactly remember leaving the restaurant except for a couple highlights. 1. I remember saying a tearfully dramatic goodbye to my friend (gotta love the public cry) and 2. looking for this bartender to say who knows what before I left.

Luckily, I didn’t find him, but I did seem to think a Facebook message was the next best idea. I said “Where you at Utah?” Yes, it could have been much worse, but still kind of embarrassing since I go to this place a few times a week.

I never got a response and somewhat forgot about it until a couple weeks ago when he gave me this weird look for across the bar. I’m not very observant of these things but I kind of got the vibe.

On Saturday, I ran into him outside of a different bar. He was hammered. Whenever we run into him hammered we never know what we’ll get (last time he picked up both me and my roommate at the same time). This time, he insisted on buying me, my roommate and our other friend a shot. We were fairly sober, so this was an unexpected turn considering we didn’t leave the house until after 11.

Post-shot, he literally takes out 4 or 5 of his top and bottom front teeth. This was a very Kid Rock/midwest moment, but pretty hilarious nonetheless.

Out of nowhere he tells me that I shouldn’t be wearing a crossover purse because “people just want to motorboat you, but I mean I won’t” HAHA. I’m really just wearing a tank top, nothing cray.

Then I walk away to hang with some friends who came in from out of town, and I overhear him talking to my roommate about me. He thought we were together, like beyond roommates (not surprising, we’re co-dep and everyone thinks so) and then started saying all kinds of cray shit.

Later he tries to kiss me and tells me he is leaving and taking me with him. In my historical first exercise of self control I have to turn him down (because I have out of town people and the stuff he was saying was really pretty ridic). I immediately look at my friend and say that I made the wrong decision, lol.

He proceeds to kidnap my roommate and take him on an adventure after asking me if he should (I said yes not knowing what that would entail/not my decision).

My roommate shows up an hour later, telling me that he is crazy (duh) and that he showed him a pic of his roommate and suggested a "roommate switch". 

The story ends there for now. Oh, and Fiesta is next weekend...